I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
