Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
