just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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