Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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