Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
