We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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