Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
