It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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