so that wasnt chicken after all
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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