she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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