he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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