Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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