Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
