Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
