remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
