I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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