rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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