I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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