I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I looked at my own cervix.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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