I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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