please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
