You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
