it hurts more in the daytime
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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