Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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