Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
