I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
