At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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