Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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