I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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