If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
