Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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