would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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