Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
