Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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