just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Found your dick twin last night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
