Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
