Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
