At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
