She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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