The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The beer is more important than you right now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
