there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
