Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
