your room smells of hookers.
And success
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
