you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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