Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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