the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
