i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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