im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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