Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
