I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
