Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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