So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
