you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
